Driving Air

The only distraction for investors now will continue to be the increasing high pitched sound of air being forced into the only opening of the equities balloon chamber.  The noise is distracting  but can be removed by wearing an Equity Manager's Headset manufactured by the Fed and sold at any business cable news outlet.  The headsets are constructed of two ten year notes held together with Wall Street's and Washington's favorite material, Ivy.  Though the material is considered not safe by previous users, it continues to be popular and is especially worn to major financial events.   The headsets can also be used when driving while texting at high speed, downhill, in heavy traffic.